I quit my job! And other fun updates!

Time for a mayjah update.

A) I quit my job. Can I get a hell yeah?!! No more threats, accusations and mean looks! (For now.)

B) I started two new ones.

I’m working for a temp agency during the week and at Jessica McClintock during the weekends. This is my fourth prom season working there. Why I continuously subject myself to the trivial demands of teenage girls who just want a dress they can stain a la Monica Lewinsky I have no idea. I’m a glutton for punishment.

Good news is, I will have fun stories to share on this blog.

Anyway, this is my plan for the next two months until I figure out where I’m going to grad school. It’s strange, because I visit Richmond and feel at home and love reconnecting with some of my best friends. But D.C. fits, too. And the thought of leaving The Hoff and my friends up here is terrifying.

But I know I’ll end up where I’m supposed to. I’m excited to start a new chapter of my life. I know that I’m capable of far more than I’ve accomplished in the four years since I graduated in college. And I’m determined to make it happenen.

I’ve even toyed with the idea of getting a PhD. Can you imagine? Dr. Procras. Ha! But I’ll cross that road once I obtain a master’s degree. It may be all the school I can handle.

C) With the pay cut I’ve taken, I’ve started frequenting more happy hours. It is so much cheaper to drink during the hours of 4 – 8 pm! The cell phone flask will start making more and more cameos when I decide to go out on the weekends. Momma’s on a budget!

D) I’ve tried to make The Hoff my sugar daddy. He is less than enthused. But, he treated me to a movie this weekend. Those who haven't, go see "Hot Tub Time Machine" immediately! Huh-larious! And bonus points if you've seen it and recognize the actor who plays the one-armed bellhop.

E) I have bangs now. And my hair is darker with highlights. I'll try to post a pic soon.

F) I’ve read two Nicholas Sparks books in three days. They’re my crack cocaine. I feel so lame reading them, and even more lame when I cry while reading them, but they are just SO DAMN GOOD.

G) A weekend wouldn’t be complete without a compelling Lifetime movie. Sunday, “Student Seduction” with Elizabeth Berkley was playing. I’ve seen it before, and I’ll probably see it 50 more times. The former Jesse Spano plays a high school chemistry teacher who offers to tutor a stuggling student. Dude turns out to be a little psycho and assaults her, but then accuses her of coming on to him.

Why are these movies soooo good?! And how do they cast such award-winning actresses?!

That’s all I’ve got for now. Hopefully I’ll have some good teenaged retail crisis stories to share soon.

The Hoff Does Not Heart Lifetime Movies

We all know I have a slight obsession with Lifetime movies. The acting is stellar (hello...Tori Spelling stars in 59.8% of the movies), the content is compelling and there's also a moral to the story (i.e. don't sleep with your friend's husband; don't marry abusive psychopaths). Deep stuff.

My all time favorite lifetime movie was on Sunday night. Maybe some of you have heard of it? It's called "She's Too Young." Basically, it's about a group of high school students who all contract syphilis because they sleep around with each other. The focus is on a freshman girl, who gives the popular jock head just so he'll like her and ends up contracting syphilis. Obviously, it's a classic.

Fortunately for The Hoff, we were at his place so he could witness this award-winning drama. I've never seen someone cringe so much while still stay glued to the television screen. The movie reinforced his stance that he doesn't ever want to have a daughter and brought out some of the most hilarious commentary.

My favorite? "This movie is giving me a negative boner."

I think The Hoff and I need to make Lifetime movie date nights a regular occurrence.

Lifetime Movies > Football

I've been negligent to this poor blog...again.

I haven't felt like writing in a week and a half, which is terrifying, because writing is such a major part of who I am.

But mainly, so much has happened that I just don't know where to start.

So, I'll just summarize it into this:

Life slapped me across the face, shook me a few times and told me I really need to start being nicer to my psyche.

And I'm trying. Little by little. Day by day.

May sound cryptic, but it's all I'm able to divulge. (For now, at least.)

I started this blog to laugh with and at myself (and hopefully allow others to in the process). So enough with the blah and onto the happy...

One of my nearest and dearest, SayJo, was in town this past week. While I was out to dinner with her and a group of her friends from high school, we started talking about the most recent Lifetime movie debut.

In case any of you weren't aware, "Pregnancy Pact" premiered Saturday, January 23rd. Not as good as the one where the entire school contracts syphillis, but still a classic.

Anyone ever notice how a Lifetime movie premiere for women is the equivalent of a championship football game for men?

Seriously, half of us at dinner stayed home that Saturday to watch this movie, the others DVRed it and one girl convinced a bartender to turn it on while she was out with friends. Pure genius and awesomeness.

I don't know what it is about movies depicting teen pregnancies, STDs and battered women, but us females like to bond through trash television and copious amount of wine.

I couldn't think of a better way to spend a Saturday night.