Friday, September 25, 2009

Frugal Fashion Finds

The fashion bible says that day dresses are a must-have for fall. I agree. Comfortable, easy to throw on for a girl like me who is never on time, and can transition flawlessly from day to night - a practical addition to any wardrobe.

Old Navy Women's Tie-Front Flutter-Sleeve Dress

New York & Company City Style Belted Ruffle Print Shirtdress

Calvin Klein Roll Neck Ponte Knit Dress (at Nordstrom)

Jessica Howard Belted Dress (at Dillard's)

Calvin Klein Belted Dress (at Dillard's)

Sangria Y-Collar Short Missy Dress (at Target)

EXPRESS Cowl-Neck Sweater Dress

THE LIMITED Draped Waist Dress

I'm not sure this constitutes as a day dress, but I'm slightly obsessed so I'm adding it to the list anyway.

Adriana Papell Ruffle Front Sheath Dress (at Nordstrom)

Oh, and head to Macy's through this Saturday to stock up on boots, pumps and flats. They are having a HUGE SHOE SALE!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Real Men Drink Mike's Hard Lemonade

This weekend, The Hoff and I made a spontaneous trip to Baltimore so he could see his beloved Red Sox hand it to the Orioles.

I like going to baseball games, but I get bored pretty easily and have to find other ways to entertain myself. America's favorite pasttime may be baseball, but mine is definitely people watching.

During the third inning, I looked a few rows in front of me and saw a 40-year old man chugging Mike's Hard Lemonade. 1) I didn't know they served such things at ballparks and 2) I didn't think that anyone over the age of 16 drank Mike's.

I tried to give the guy the benefit of the doubt, and thought maybe he was just in the mood to lose his manhood and self-respect in exchange for the nauseatingly sweet taste of hard lemonade. But a few innings later, I heard him call up to his friend, already at the top of the stairs, to grab him another Mike's. Clearly, this guy has no shame.

Next thing I knew, he was double-fisting a strawberry daiquiri along with his Mike's. One would think that his friends would give him so much shit that he's feel forced to switch to a more manlier beverage, but oh no - his compadres were knocking those bad boys back along with him. If that doesn't scream "bad ass," I don't know what does.

Of course, I had to document this spectacle. It was too hilarious not to share. Think of it as a "Where's Waldo" scenairo, except look for the guy with Fonzie-like greasy hair, wearing a long-sleeved gray t-shirt and leaning over his seat seductively with a Mike's in hand.

Speaking of the Red Sox, check out this clip from Jennifer Garner's appearance on Leno the other night. Now she is badass...and I doubt she'd be caught dead drinking Mike's.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Back Where I Come From...


I grew up in a suburb of Richmond, Virginia. I love my hometown. People are friendly, sweet tea is served everywhere by the gallon and life is a bit more slow-paced than up here in D.C.

But poor ol' R.I.C. doesn't have the best reputation. Here are some of our claims to fame - or shame I guess would be more appropriate:

1) Capital of the Confederacy
2) Host of two big Nascar races (I've actually heard these are good, drunken fun.)
3) Highest murder rate per capita
4) Headquarters of Phillip Morris
5) Location of the Michael Vick trial

I promise, the majority of us are upstanding, law-abiding non-rednecks.

Now, we can add another winner to the list. Chris Brown is, as we speak, picking up trash in my beloved stomping grounds.

Watch this video.

Punk-a-rellie (as my dad likes to refer to douchebags) is carrying on like he's having the time of his life while serving a court-ordered punishment for assaulting his girlfriend.

And apparently this is national news-People and the LA Times are just some of the few that think this is worthy of being reported.

I just love how Richmond only makes headlines when dog killers and girlfriend beaters are in town.

Hopefully Mr. Brown will be long gone by next Friday when I'm back in the 804.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

iPhones Are Whores

The Hoff and his roommates enrolled in the AT&T Family Plan so they could all get iPhones.

Let's all say it together now: AWWWWW

In all seriousness, it was a pretty genius idea. They are all paying less than they were with individual plans. Let's just hope they remain as close as the Bradys throughout the length of the contract.

And I have to admit, I sort of heart the iPhone. Even though it has been the source of some lovers' quarrels.

Quarrel #1:
I asked my friend, Queen, who has had an iPhone for quite some time, what apps I should download onto The Hoff's phone. She recommended "Sally's Beauty Spa." It's basically a time management came where you tell Sally, the spa owner, in which area of the spa she should be working. Some clientele are more patient and higher tippers than others (like in the real world), and if they get pissed off for poor service, they storm out and throw merchandise around.

I can play this game for hours - much to the chagrin of The Hoff. After two hours of being so trasnfixed in spa land and oblivous to anything going on around me, the Hoff said: "Now I know how girls feel like when guys play video games."

Major milestone for women achieved without even trying. I. AM. AWESOME.

Quarrel #2:
I found a free wine tasting going on in Georgetown on the Washington Post's Going out Guide, so The Hoff and I decided to check it out. I vaguely read directions on how to get to the restaurant, but didn't write down the address or directions. I just assumed we could use GPS on The Hoff's iPhone to find our way.

He was not pleased I didn't come prepared. Um...when are men ever prepared??!!

It didn't help that AT&T has craptastic service and it took 15 minutes for googlemaps to load.

Thirty minutes later, we finally made it. All was right in the world by our second glass of wine.

Quarrel #3:
A few days later, The Hoff and I were venturing to another location in the city we had never been, aka we'd get miserably lost without specific walking directions.

The Hoff: Did you print out directions?
Me: No, I just thought we could use your iPhone.
(I actually had printed off directions, I just like to get The Hoff exasperated for comedic value.)
The Hoff: Miss Procras., my iPhone is not a whore! She's not available whenever you want her!

I'm sure there will be many more of these throughout the iPhone's existence.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Frugal Fashion Finds

I picked up the newest issue of InStyle the other day and holy magazine gods was it heavy. 500 pages of fall fashion for me to ooh and aah over. I almost fainted in the checkout line. (Side note: Does anyone else read the last page of the magazine first? I'm incapable of reading from front to back like normal people.)

Anyway, I immediately started flipping through, and noticed that cardigans are listed as one of the 'fall fashion must-haves.' Obviously, I won't be purchasing a $600 3.1 Phillip Lim oversize sweater, so I decided to compile my own list.

Short cardigans are perfect for mild temperatures. And they don't have to be confined to one season. Once cold air moves in, add a long sleeve shirt for extra warmth.

TOPSHOP Knitted Chunky Short Cardigan

TOPSHOP Knitted Shoulder Cardigan

EXPRESS Strong Shoulder Cardigan Sweater

If your office is like mine, you need a sweater no matter what the thermometer reads. These will keep you warm and add some fun to your business attire.

New York & Company City Style Dip-Dye Argyle Cardigan

I'm slightly obsessed with this extra-long sweaters. They are so comfortable and versatile. I love pairing them with skinny jeans and flats.

New York and Company City Style Long Cardigan

Forever 21 Extended Length Cardigan

Open front cardigans are perfect for going out. Throw a strappy tanks underneath and stay warm while still looking sexy.

EXPRESS Elbow Sleeve Flyaway Cardigan

EXPRESS Flyaway Cardigan Hoodie

Nordstrom Absolutely Cotton Open Pointelle Cardigan

I love this new spin on the sweater coat. So chic.

EXPRESS Military Sweater Coat

Be sure to check out for hundreds of cardigans in a variety of styles and prices.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

When Being Late Bites You in the A**


I am a walking fashion faux-pas today.

All because I'm a lazy p.o.s. and hit the snooze button five times before dragging myself out of bed and rushing to get to work at a decent time.

I ended up leaving five minutes before I'm supposed to be at work. And I have about a 20-30 minute commute. Yeah, I suck. And in my haste to get ready, I overlooked something VERY important.

...I wore bikini briefs instead of a thong.

This is a problem for three reasons:

1) The black capris I'm wearing hug my curves and the fabric isn't very forgiving.
2) I have a ghetto bootay, which means I have to wear a thong with almost all my pants, skirts, etc.
3) My biggest pet peeve (next to men who sit cross-legged like women-WHY DO SO MANY CELEBS DO THIS??!!) is when you can see women's panty lines. So gross.

I would have turned around and gone home, but I didn't realize my dilemma until I was basically in my office parking lot.

So, I've been tugging my camisole down all day, trying to make it long enough to cover my ass(with my ghetto booty, it ain't happenin')and making friends with the wall so no one will see the disgustingness that is my backside.

Maybe I should start keeping a spare thong at work in case this happens again like I do with deodorant. Then again, if anyone found them, it would probably raise a lot of questions.

Guess this means I need to start getting up on time. Le sigh.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Facebook + Relationships = Trouble

I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook. At best, I'd consider us frenemies.

Sure, it provides hours of distraction at work and keeps you connected to faraway friends, but it also raises added complications, especially when relationships are concerned.

1) Can relationships actually start from a Facebook encounter?

Witness dialogue from “He’s Just Not That Into You:”
Mary: He MySpaced me.
Nathan: Ouch!
Mary: Oh.
Joshua: Oh girl I don't know about that... My trampy little sister says MySpace is the new booty call.

2) Is it absolutely vital to confirm your relationship on Facebook?

3) What about when you break up? Is it best to delete an ex from your friend list?

4) If you stay Facebook friends, is it healthy to: sneak a peek at an ex’s profile, pics, status; send messages occasionally? What’s proper Facebook ex etiquette?

When I apply these questions to my own life, I wonder – am I going about this Facebook relationship thing all wrong?

1) The night I met The Hoff, I scurried off before he could ask for my number to avoid an awkward goodbye. I obviously wanted him to ask for my number, but I didn’t want him to know that. To my surprise, I got a friend request and FB message from him the next day. Guess this refutes the logic of Facebook communication = booty call.

2) I never confirmed a relationship on Facebook until I started dating The Hoff. And even then, I didn’t confirm it until we had been together almost a year.

I just don’t understand people who feel the need to broadcast their love and devotion all over Facebook. It makes me want to vomit all over my screen reading about how perfect someone’s boyfriend/husband is and how they can’t wait to see them in 2.75 hours.

The Hoff’s roommates used to joke that The Hoff and I weren’t in a real relationship since we weren’t even confirmed on FB. Since when does a social networking site determine how real your relationship is?

I think that’s bullshit- you can absolutely be in a loving, committed relationship without advertising it. Though I will admit, it does prevent certain former flings from contacting you, thinking you are single, when they can easily check your relationship status.

3) My most recent ex is still on my friends list. We didn’t have a nasty breakup or anything, so it didn’t seem necessary to delete him.

4) I have to admit, I do check out my recent ex’s profile/pics/status updates everyone once in a while. He has a new girlfriend and a new job, and I have to admit, it does sting a little to read that and feel like I know nothing about a person that I used to know everything about. But I can’t stop myself from looking.

It makes me wonder if that nagging feeling of knowing your ex is with someone else ever goes away. And if not, is it really healthy to keep him on my friends list and have a constant reminder that I’m no longer a part of his life? And if I do delete him and he realizes it, will I look like pathetic and immature?

I think as new technologies emerge, we have to create new rules and boundaries for ourselves. Like with cell phones, I have a few friends who will file a girlfriend’s number under their recent ex’s name so that even if they drunk dial him, they’ll reach someone who can cheer them up. (Of course this doesn’t help if you know the bastard’s number by heart.)

I have a feeling by the time I get my personal Facebook etiquette system down pat, something else will come along that I have to figure out all over again.

So I'm curious-what are your Facebook relationship rules? How do you think relationships should be handled on social networking sites?

Friday, September 4, 2009

Frugal Fashion Finds

Fellow bargain shop-a-holics,

Labor day weekend is upon us-a bittersweet end to the carefree days of summer (though after college, are they really that carefree?). Flip flops and sandals will soon be relegated to the back of the closet and replaced with boots and closed-toe pumps.

Fortunately, it marks one of the biggest shopping events of the year. Additional discounts are available on summer clearance items in effort to push them out the door and fall merchandise can be found at special rates. So, grab your VISAs, head to the nearest fashion mecca (or computer for you online shopping gurus) and immerse yourself in major savings.

Here's just a smattering of some of the sales going on this weekend:

Save 40-70% on regular-priced items
Take an extra 25% off clearance

Shoe Clearance-take 33% off or more

Lord & Taylor
Pre-season coat sale; save an extra 20%
15% Storewide Savings Pass on Sale and Clearance items

Big Brown Bag Sale: Take an extra 30% off select already reduced merchandise

Nine West
Savings up to 70% off
Extra 30% off sale sandals

$15 off every $60 spent (print coupon here)
All jeans-BOGO 1/2 off

Banana Republic
Select fall essentials 30% off

*note: this is online ONLY*
15% off purchase of $75
20% off purchase of $100
25% off purchase of $150

The Limited

Select shirts 40% off
All online orders: $5 flat rate shipping

Ann Taylor
Buy one full-priced item get the second 50% off

Ann Taylor LOFT
Labor Day Sale: Fresh New Markdowns

*note: this is online ONLY*
Take an extra 30% off clearance merchandise
Free shipping with $35 purchase

White House Black Market

Labor Day Sale-up to 65% off

Happy Shopping!


Miss Procras.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Drool Me a River


I'm not the best bed buddy in the world.

I steal covers, maneuver myself into a diagonal position so I'm monopolizing 99% of the bed and grind my teeth.

I also have what doctor's refer to as a bit of a drooling problem.

Sunday night, I attempted to watch Mad Men with The Hoff. Since the new season started a few weeks ago, I've been telling him I'll watch an episode. (He claims it's one of the best shows on t.v. right now.) I haven't been able to make it to the first commercial break without crashing. That's what happens when you bring your A-game all weekend...

I must have been really spent this past Sunday because before I knew it, The Hoff was grabbing my jaw to keep me from grinding my teeth. (I have my own personal mouth guard.) Then, I woke up, lifted my head, and noticed a string a drool connecting my mouth to an Olympic-sized puddle in the middle of The Hoff's chest. (Don't worry, I mopped before zonking out again.)

But I wasn't done wrecking slumber havoc yet.

When The Hoff was trying to peacefully sleep, I pulled all the covers onto my side of the bed while simultaneously pushing him onto the floor in effort to obtain my preferred diagonal sleeping position.

The irony to this all is I have to be in a completely quiet environment to fall asleep. I can't have the t.v. or radio on (unless I'm completely wiped out), and I DETEST snoring. I've gone so far as to sleep in my car or a bathtub to avoid the freight-train noises that come from people with a deviated septum. It irritates me that much.

And The Hoff is a very pleasant bed companion. He sometimes lightly snores, but it's so faint it wouldn't bother anyone accept yours truly and her bat-like ears. You better believe he gets poked in the ribs anytime his breathing reaches 1 dB.

...I definitely would have kicked my ass to the couch by now if I were him.

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