Thursday, August 20, 2009

Miss Procras. and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad WEEK

Remember this book? I hadn't thought about it in years until I started brainstorming fun titles for today's post.

Mucho apologies for being MIA the past few days. I was so proud of myself for posting 4 times last week and thought-I've turned over a new leaf! I'll post more than once a week now! Yay me! Yeah, last week was clearly just a fluke.

But it's been a shit-tastic week. Let me explain-

Tuesday and Wednesday I was sick with a UTI. No matter how much cranberry juice I drink or how often I pee after doing the deed, I get these at least 5 times a year. F my life.

Then, today, I returned to work and was almost immediately greeted with a request to meet my supervisor in the conference room for a chat. (Just to refresh your memory, I was called into the conference room nine days ago because my dress shorts weren't considered office appropriate. This coming from a woman wearing a muumuu. But that's neither here nor there.)

Anyway, I sorta flipped my shit. I've been on my breaking point for weeks and this jolted me over the edge. I ran outside and called The Hoff to tell him I was going to quit. Luckily, he was in a more rational frame of mind and pointed out that a) I had yet to line up a new job and b) if I quit, I would have no health insurance.

I hate to admit it, but he raised two very legitimate points.

So, I went to the meeting, still pissed as hell, but not quite as gung-ho on giving my notice.

After being lectured for ten minutes, I was handed a memo. (To give you a synopsis of the memo, it basically stated that they are unhappy with my performance and attendance. You see, at the lovely company in which I'm employed, you have to accrue your sick days. That's right, ACCRUE. I would like to get my hands on the genius who thought of that. And since I didn't have enough PTO to cover my two sick days this week, they were not happy.)

Anyway, I wouldn't really consider a memo being an acceptable form of written communication regarding work performance, but what do I know. I read over it, found at least 20 typo-s, spelling and grammatical errors and was then asked if I had any questions or comments.

"Why yes, madame supervisor, yes I do. I'm not sure if you're aware, but you no longer need to add two spaces in between sentences. Also, the phrases 'becoming to the point' and 'more than often' are very stylistically awkward. Lastly, you may want to enroll in a basic grammar course to review comma usage."

No, I didn't really say that, but I wish I had.

Instead, I replied that I thought it would be best for both me and the company if I sought employment elsewhere. Considering the anxiety and stress from this job are what's affecting my health, it would benefit both parties for me to go on my merry way.

So, now the cat's outta the bag. No, I didn't give my official resignation, but they know I'm outta here on the first direct flight (read: job offer).

Btw, I know this topic is getting tired, so I'm retiring the rants regarding work. Hopefully my next job-related post will be to inform you that I got a new one!

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