Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Turning the negative into positive

Yesterday, I was gathering some items off the copier at work, when a co-worker turned around and asked if I had gained weight. I'll refer to her as NN (for Negative Nancy) because she's seriously the most glass-half-empty-person I've ever met.

I was embarrassed, shocked, appalled, and could only muster "uhhh...I don't know" as a response. She then told me it looks good.

Backhanded comment much?

Truth be told, I've never been one to obsess over my weight-I've pretty much always eaten what I want and not worried about it.

Still, I feel like I have put on a few pounds lately. My pants are fitting more snugly-so snug that I end up unbuttoning them halfway through the workday to get comfortable. And my tight-fitting tops have relegated to the back of my closet to avoid accentuating my muffin top.

I've tried to brush the negative thoughts and self-criticisms aside. You're your own worst critic, after all. But, to have someone else confirm the insecurities I have about my body and weight makes me feel like maybe it's not all in my head.

So, I've been torturing myself with the what-ifs as to why my body is suddenly changing.

-I just turned 25, and have always heard that your body starts acting differently when you hit that milestone. Maybe my metabolism has slowed down.

-I've been watching wayyyyyy too many episodes of "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant." So even though I'm on the pill and even though I've been getting my period every month, part of my still agonizes that I could be like the freaks of nature on that show and randomly pop out a kid at a campsite or fast food restaurant. (Yes, that actually happened on the show.)

But the comment gave me motivation to do something about it. I went to the exercise room in my apartment complex for the first time since I moved, did some cardio and sit-ups, and made myself tilapia, rice and peas for dinner. (I also indulged in a glass of red wine and a piece of Ghiradelli dark chocolate, but both of those are supposed to be good for you.)

When I got to work this morning, I told another co-worker what NN said. She told me that NN said the same thing to another girl in my office - right before her wedding! And this other girl she "critiqued" is probably the most physically fit person in our office.

What woman comments on another woman's weight? AND what woman has the audacity to say something so hurtful before one of the most important days in a woman's life, when that woman has been working so hard to look perfect!

A very sad, insecure, lonely woman that's who.

I kind of want to bitch her out. But mostly, I feel sorry for her. So maybe I'll just thank her for giving me incentive and motivation to take better care of my body.

I forgot how good it feels to work out, so hopefully I can be disciplined and keep up a regular exercise routine. Take that, NN!

2 comments on "Turning the negative into positive"

LiLu on November 19, 2009 at 11:35 AM said...

What a WHORE!!! I would have killed her! Or at least made a snide comment about her hair. You are better than I.

AND you are beautiful and TEENY. Don't let that hooker get you down. And don't EVER stop drinking the wine. ;-)

Miss Procras. on November 20, 2009 at 4:23 PM said...

Thanks, girl! xoxo

My problem is I'm like I deer in headlights when someone says something like that to me. Five minutes later, I've come up with the BEST comeback, but of course it's too little too late.

And don't you worry, I will NEVER give up the wine (or the beer, or the martinis...)


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