Sick Day Revelation

Recap coming as soon as I get my lazy ass around to loading pictures onto my computer. And by my computer I mean The Hoff's. (Mine doesn't have internet access at the moment.)

So, instead, I'm going to write about something that doesn't require the use of yet-to-be-uploaded photos.

In between naps, I spent my sick days watching such greats as "Sex and the City," "27 Dresses," and "Marley and Me." Fortunately for me, Cinemax and HBO had them on repeat.

During the scene in "27 Dresses" when Sexy McSexface (aka James Marsden...loved him since "Second Noah" - you're my instant soul mate if you remember that show) is trying to get Katherine Heigl to say "no" to people, I realized I'm a lot like her character.

Let's take a moment to embrace the hotness that is James Marsden....

::swoon::

::faint::

Okay, back to my point.....

I definitely lack the assertiveness gene.

This may be why I've had two, yes TWO co-workers ask to borrow money from me. And not $.65 for a coke or $3.99 for a happy meal. I'm talking $50-100.

So, much like Katherine Heigl's character, I meekly responded that I'm sorry, but I can't loan them money. Luckily, these people asked me via text or im and not face-to-face.

What I really wanted to ask them way if they'd lost their G.D. mind and to work the oh-so-lucrative street corner if they're so hard up for cash. Of course, I'd have to say this in a diplomatic, don't-report-me-to-HR, I'd-really-like-to-keep-my-job sort-of way.

But seriously, to be asked to borrow that amount of money from co-workers? I must be doing something wrong.

And then I realized, I did the same thing in relationships. I never spoke my mind or made demands.

I wanted to be the cool, laid-back girlfriend. So if something bothered me, I just kept my mouth shut.

Until recently.

After my epiphany a few months ago, I've learned its okay to say what I want.

To name a few: I need date nights once a week, help with the dishes after I cook (and to have dinner cooked for me) and a kiss on my forehead before I go to sleep.

And you know what? The Hoff's still here.

So my expectations must not be that unreasonable.

If I can do this in one of the most important relationships in my life, I can certainly apply it toward others.

My new mantra:

No more worrying about what people think.

Time to be me, with no apologies or regrets.

Easier said than done, but I'll get there.

Nobody Likes a Mr. (or Miss) Sniffles

I want to give y'all a recap of the past 10 days. I really, really want to.

But I can't breathe, my head feels like it's about to explode and I'm hacking up a lung.

Basically, I'm dying.

And I just don't have it in me to type a proper recap post.

Once I'm feeling halfway human again (hopefully tomorrow), I'll update you on my recent shananigans.

Until then, I'll be snuggled under 5 blankets with a cup of green tea and a bowl of chicken pho.

You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl

So, we all know I am incapable of getting places on time and wait until the last minute to do anything.

But, last week, I attended a....

wait for it...

wait for it...

...time management seminar.

I'm still reeling at the irony of a blogger by the name of Miss Procras. listening to a lecture negating the very essence that is her being.

Was I late to this 6-hour class about managing priorities and juggling multiple projects?

Of course - by my standard 15 minutes. (I had a little mishap with a school bus - more on that later.)

Did I learn anything?

Surprisingly, yes. Wish I had taken this class in college to learn some of the prioritzation tactics the instructor taught us.

Listen to these fun facts spouted off during the seminar:

-The average American reads 220-240 words/minute; comprehends 30% of what they read and memorizes 40%.
-All living U.S. Presidents have taking a speed reading course with the exception of one. I think you call all guess who that is.
-Living U.S. President with the fastest reading speed? The cigar-shoving, dress-staining, sax playing Cassanova - he can read something crazy like 1550 words/minute.

I now have a new goal in life: to beat ol' Willy's reading speed. It can be my super power.

But my favorite part of the class was the quote to combat procrastination:

"If you wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is eat a live frog, it's probably going to be the worst thing you do all day, so the rest of the day is probably going to get better." -Mark Twain

I get your point, Marky Mark, but I don't tend to eat live frogs very often. The following streams of logic are much more my speed, anyway.

"The two rules of procrastination: 1) Do it today. 2) Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. "- Unknown

"I was late to work, so I'm leaving early. I don't want to be late twice in the same day. "- Unknown. Now THAT is what I call being time efficient.

(I like how both those authors chose to remain anonymous. Guess they actually care about their reputations, unlike me.)

You're so right, Brooks & Dunn, you CAN'T take the honky tonk out of the girl. But in my case honky tonk = lackadaisicalness.

Side note: Tomorrow, I'm off to the Bahamas for a few days with The Hoff, then to a work conference in Boston, so I won't be posting much the next week. I'll be on 5 flights in 9 days...hopefully, I can utilize the ounce of self-disclipline I have to get to the airport on time.

Have a fabulous weekend, loves!

Boy Logic Makes Zero Sense

Before I go off on my tangent, I have to apologize for my negligence in posting. This week has been pretty intense - I'll explain later. And I know I normally post my frugal fashion finds on Friday (holy alliteration, batman!), but I just don't have it in me today.

So, I'll just vent to my fantabulous blog readers about The Hoff and his way of thinking.

You see, The Hoff needs a new car. He is currently driving a 1998 Toyota Camry, lovingly referred to as Tonya, the green monster. It's got quite a few dings (pictures to come soon) and malfunctions-i.e. the security system is shot to hell and randomly goes off while he's driving. I like to think of these as artistic flair.

In the glorious state of Virginia, state inspections are required once a year, and in Northern Virginia, emissions inspections are required every two years. Poor ol' Tonya won't pass either without $1300 worth of work done. She's worth $1500-$1900. Obviously, it's time for a new car.

The Hoff was expecting this and has been looking at cars already. And, he's hell bent on getting a BMW.

Maybe it's just me, but I don't understand the appeal of luxury cars, or cars in general. The minute you drive them off the lot, their value depreciates by thousands of dollars. More than likely, it's going to get scratched, dinged, damaged, etc., so why pour so much money into something you won't make any money off of??!!

I've tried to reason with him:

Me: I just don't get why you don't look into a Toyota, Honda, Nissan, etc.
The Hoff: I've wanted a BMW my whole life. I'm 24, I don't have any responsibilities, it's the perfect time to get one.
Me: I've wanted a pair of Jimmy Choos my whole life. I'm 25, my legs will never look like this again-I may as well invest in some stilettos to accentuate them. But, why should I spend $1000 on Jimmy Choos when I can get the same effect on a $65 pair from Nine West?
The Hoff: Go ahead and get them then.

This, coming from the guy who rants and raves that he doesn't understand why girls need so many shoes, purses, etc. Yet, a luxury car is justifiable.

I'm throwing in the towel. I've tried to be the voice of reason, but there's just no getting through. Luckily, I'll have something to throw in his face when I go on my next shoe shopping spree.

The Hoff may have won the battle, but I will win the war! :)