Thursday, April 2, 2009

Making Purple

Growing up, I went to a lot of church camps. (Bet you never would have guessed.) The #1 rule at all these praise-Jesus conventions: No making purple. I.e.-Girls (color pink) and boys (color blue) should never be in each other's sleeping quarters. The genius who came up with that rule didn't think about the hundreds of alternate locations-lake, woods, staircase-where it did not apply.

Since those tender pre-teen years, that rule has been completely tossed out the window. Enter: adult sleepovers. The most common way for twenty-somethings to make purple.

Everyone seems to have their own set of rules or thoughts on the topic. Here are a couple I've encountered recently.

During my jaunt to Seattle a few weeks back, I read Lauren Weisburger’s new book, “Chasing Harry Winston.” Entertaining, cute, fun—basically your standard chick lit novel. Great way to make a 4+ hour flight seem like an hour.

Anyway, one of the characters in the book is described as a Brazilian goddess (I pictured a Gisele Bundchen look-alike), and prides herself on being an expert in all things relating to relationships and men. One of her dating rules is to never stay the night when you go home with a guy for the first time. After the physical stuff is done, gather your things and leave. I’m calling bullshit on this for a few reasons:
  1. Isn’t it wiser/more satisfying to bring boy toy back to your place? Then, you can be the one to kick him out?
  2. If I’ve gone back to the guy’s place for the first time, chances are I’m wasted and could obviously not drive myself home.
  3. It would probably be too late to grab a cab after everything is said and done. Not many taxis are still running around at 4 a.m.
  4. What’s the harm in being the first to suggest leaving in the morning, when you’re no longer intoxicated, it’s light outside and the chances of you being abducted have greatly diminished?

I just don’t think this rule is practical or safe.

I do, however, think that spending a night with a guy can help us pick up on little quirks we would have never realized without another person around. Maybe it’s because we’re more cognizant of our actions with a boy in the room.

Lo has been dating this guy for a little over a month and has already picked up on some of these tidbits (she’s the one who gave me the idea for this post).

Some of my favs (these are hers and mine combined):

-I need my personal space when I’m trying to fall asleep. No spooning, please.

-I make a comment to myself everytime I hang up the phone. They range from an exasperated ‘okay’ to ‘this is the most ridiculous thing ever’ to ‘aww that was cute.’

-I almost always wake up with all my jewelry on from the night before. I guess that’s not a top priority when you're in the heat of the moment...or after one too many tequila shots.

- I talk to myself to the point where the other person has to clarify whether I’m talking to him or just myself....I know people talk to themselves all the time, but I didn’t know I was so loud.

- I don’t like people to hear me pee.

-I have a tendency to awkwardly scurry off the next morning and avoid eye contact with any roommates, parents (God forbid) or pet goldfish I might encounter. I guess I’m afraid they’ll be judging me or crack inappropriate jokes at my expense.

-I despise having to put my clothes on to run to the bathroom post-hookup, but I prefer not to sleep naked. (Does this make me an exhibitionist?)

-If a guy makes a big deal about “his side of the bed,” I automatically know he’s a douche bag and unworthy of my time. (More on this later.)

Bottom line: I don’t think there are any set rules for “sleepovers” (be it the first or the hundredth.) Make your own. Be safe, have fun and enjoy learning new things about yourself—however quirky they may be.

3 comments on "Making Purple"

Singlegrrrl on April 2, 2009 at 5:36 PM said...

OMG, I know what you mean about "my side of the bed." Only total sleezies and serial killers do that on the first sleepover -- and I don't want to date either!!!

Just Jack on April 5, 2009 at 10:42 PM said...

I'm totally with you on the putting on clothes to go to the bathroom but love sleeping naked.

I will have to say that I enjoy cuddling but not on the first time. That's awkwardly familiar and if I'm going home with you, chances are that I don't want to see you again after the morning! BYE!

Miss Procras. on April 6, 2009 at 1:32 PM said...

@Singlegrrrl-Amen, sister!

@Just Jack-I hear ya. Cuddling can be nice, but not when I'm trying to get my beauty sleep. But if a guy tries to cuddle with me the first night, I automatically know things won't work out between us.


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