Who Knew Cleaning out your Closet Could Be So Depressing?

I’m not much for spring- cleaning. I’m more of a this-room will-get cleaned- when- my-lazy-ass-gets-around-to-it-kind-of-gal.

What can I say? I bang to the beat of my own drum. I don’t really like it when people tell me when to do something.

Who even decided we should clean in the spring, anyway? Wouldn’t it make much more sense to dust, vacuum and scrub in the dead of winter when there’s nothing better to do? Once the birds start chirping, the flowers start blooming and the temperature reaches 60 degrees, my ass is outside frolicking like a little lamb.

Problem is, even if we changed the term to ‘winter cleaning,’ I still don’t think I’d do it.

This facet of my personality grates my own nerves.

Take this past weekend, for example. The moving process would have gone much smoothly had I cleaned out my closet months ago.

Instead I decided to wait til moving day to pack, clean, etc. In my defense, I didn’t find out I could move in to my new place this past weekend until Friday. That gave me one day notice to start packing and I chose to continue my birthday celebration instead. I’m still convinced that was the right decision.

It had been two years since I last cleaned out my closet and dresser (that’s the last time I moved). Why I still have shoes from eighth grade, tops from high school and body glitter in my make-up bag, is beyond me. Maybe I’m hoping that ‘90s fashion will make a comeback and I can pair my chunky heels with animal prints and rub body glitter on my eyelids to give my eyes that extra sparkle.

(Don't judge, you know you had all those things in your closet a decade ago, too.)

I also realized that I have way more shoes and purses than one could ever need. And since I’ve been broke the past few months and I’m tired of feeling like I’m drowning in debt, I decided I’m going to…

::gulp::

::grab onto desk so I don’t faint::

…sell my designer handbags. I only own a few, but I realized, do I really need these?

-Purse #1: Black Coach bag for “work.” Ha-that’s a joke. I can't even fit a file folder into this "work bag." And I already had a useful, much bigger bag from Wilson’s Leather Outlet. Sure, the Coach bag is made of better leather and it makes me feel more sophisticated. But again, not necessary.

-Purse #2: Another black Coach bag for ‘going out.’ I never use this thing. When I need a black, going-out purse, I always grab my black faux-leather clutch from New York and Co. I think it was like $15. Someone else can get much more use of this little guy…though I did bring him out last night. Probably because I feel guilty I’m giving him away to a stranger.

-Purse #3: This is my favorite, and therefore going to be the hardest to part ways with. I bought it at the cutest handbag boutique I’ve ever seen. It was literally a block from my hotel in Seattle. I took it as a sign from God that I needed another designer handbag. I’ve never heard of the designer so I couldn’t tell you her name, but the bag was made in Argentina and it’s this pretty teal color that adds “pop” to any dull outfit. And it’s the perfect size, too.

But, sacrifices must be made. Maybe when I’m rich and famous or marry someone rich and famous, I can once again hold the title of 'designer handbag owner.'

For now, I’m taking a cue from the lovely Karyn Bosnak. I don’t really feel like I have much other people would want, but I'm pretty sure I can get good money for the bags.

And that, my friends, is why I hate cleaning out my closet. Well, cleaning anything in general.

I need to go have a martini now. The separation anxiety is too much to bear.