Decisions, Decisions part 2

Yiles-ola. Didn’t realize it had been a week since I’ve posted.

I know you’ve been on the edge of your seats waiting for the conclusion of The Hoff’s birthday saga. (Major sarcasm there.) I don’t want to bore you all to tears, so I’ll just go with the condensed version.

I did end up going to his birthday celebration last Wednesday. Solo. I must have called 15 people to come with me but they were either working (overachievers) or still recuperating from Memorial Day weekend (lightweights.) I kid, I kid.

But the night actually went really well. No looks of disgust, no cold shoulders. If The Hoff’s friends hate me, they sure did a good job of hiding it.

Only awkward part of the evening was meeting some of The Hoff’s co-workers. They were both really nice, but they had no idea about our situation so they assumed I was just a friend.

Exhibit A: When I handed The Hoff his birthday card (with gift tucked inside), one of them said, “Oh, you’re so cute – you brought a card.”

Exhibit B: Same girl later introduced me to another co-worker as The Hoff’s friend. I wanted to correct her, but I wasn’t sure how to label myself, so I kept my mouth shut.

Other highlights of the evening:

-The Hoff really liked his gift. I got him tix to a Pats game and he’s never been to one so he’s pretty pumped.

-The Hoff (jokingly) demanded that his co-worker’s fiance buy him a shot when he arrived. He obliged buy purchasing The Hoff a bourbon shot, which sent him over the edge.

-I had to basically carry the birthday boy back to my car. We didn’t even make it out of the parking garage before I had to pull over so he could vomitando .

TMI play-by-play:
The Hoff immediately passes out when he gets in the car.
All of the sudden, I hear gurgling sounds.
Miss Procras: Are you gonna get sick?
The Hoff: (after jolting straight up, eyes wide open. YES!!”
So I pull over, right before the parking attendant booth, and was both amazed and relieved that The Hoff managed to avoid getting puke in my car. At least he has good aim, even when completely shitfaced.

- When we got back to The Hoff’s house, he disappeared to the bathroom for a while. When I went to check on him, I found him planted face-first in the sink. Wish I had a photo of that shining moment.

-Coerced The Hoff to move from the sink to his bed, placing a trashcan right next to him. Not two seconds later, the gurgling sounds start again so I shoved the trashcan in his face for vomitando round 2.

…a very successful 24th birthday if I do say so myself.