At This Point, I Should Just Start My Own Moving Company...

I'm changing my name. It's now Hal. I live in a blue jumpsuit with my name plastered on the front and claim to be buff but am really just huge from the gallons of beer and bags of pork rinds I've consumed in my lifetime.

Over the past few days, I have not only moved myself out of my old apartment and into my new one, but also helped The Hoff move into his new casa.

I haven’t even had a chance to unpack all my stuff yet. It’s overtaken the common area until I get around to organizing everything this weekend. And I will get it done this weekend. (In between drinking beer, eating cheeseburgers and watching fireworks, of course.)

I must say though, my lackadaisacalness was put to shame by The Hoff and his roommates.

Ever try helping a group of 24-year-old guys move out of one house and into another? God bless your soul if you have.

I got over to The Hoff’s around 7 last night. He had been moving/packing since 9 a.m. His roommates didn’t start until 1. Most of the furniture had been moved by the time I got there, but the entire kitchen still needed to be packed along with all the other miscellaneous knick-knacks still laying around the house. Luckily, three out of four guys had lady friends over to help them pack the breakables.

The most astonishing thing to me, though, is how much free stuff guys get when they move.

The Hoff and his roommates left one of those electronic basketball games you see in arcades, a t.v. and computer for the new guys moving in. Conversely, they gained a weight set and ping pong table from the guys who moved out of their new place.

Why would all these guys just give away their stuff like that? One word: Laziness

Can you imagine if girls did the same thing?

"Oh, I really don’t fee like moving my collection of Jimmy Choos, I’ll just leave them for the new girls moving in."

Or

"This Kate Spade luggage set is so heavy I just don’t think I can move it. I’m sure the new tenants will get good use out of it."

All I can say is, these boys are in for a rude awakening when they start living with girlfriends/wives. No way would a woman allow anything to be left behind.

And if you happen to think about it, say a little prayer/send good vibes to the poor maid cleaning their place today. Let’s just say the condition of that house is only marginially better than most frat houses. (And not all of that is The Hoff and his roommates’ fault. That place has seen better days. Like in 1975.)

Hope y'all have a fantabulous holiday weekend! If you don’t get to go see any fireworks, hope you make some of your own. Ow, ow. ;)