Monday, October 29, 2012

On Time

Time is money. There's no time like the present. Time flies when you're having fun. 

Seriously, how many idioms are there about time? 

But, time is an important concept, especially when you consider it in terms of a significant other. 

We don't want to be wasting our time and energy with someone who doesn't truly value us. And I think the amount of effort and thought a guy puts into planning dates is a strong indicator of that. 

I dated a guy the past few months who considered drinking beer on his roof top patio a romantic evening. As much as I love beer and roof top patios, I need a little more flair now and then. Take me to a picnic in the park, or a concert, or a walk around the canal. I don't need to eat at a five-star restaurant once a week, but I do need to feel appreciated.

Tried as I could to explain how I felt, I don't think it ever sank in, or that he was capable of actually making an effort to let me know I was important to him. 

Whatever the case may be, we parted ways, and I soon thereafter reconnected with a guy I'd known since middle school. He actually asked what type of food I liked, researched restaurants, and made reservations for our first date. Talk about swoon. After five months of Coors Light and bar food, he had me eating out of the palm of his hand. 

A few dates later, and I was still receiving daily texts, but no suggestions of hanging out. Maybe I've read He's Just Not That Into You one two many times, but I knew something was up. 

I'm used to just being phased out by no longer hearing from a guy. This concept of daily texting with no follow-up on future dates was completely foreign and confusing to me, so I asked him if he was just trying to move things into the friend zone. First, I got the "I just got out of a relationship" excuse. Understandable. After all, I'd just got out of one, too. Not healthy to jump from one to the other. But, when I asked him if he just wanted to be friends for now or still casually hang out, he responded with, "We can hang out, but I'm going to be super busy and unavailable the next two months." 

Did the writers of HJNTIY actually use him as a case study? Because those sounded like direct lines from the book. 

What's worse, I gave him an easy way out, and he still kinda beat around the bush. Maybe he was trying to spare my feelings, or maybe he wanted to keep me at arm's length in case he decided he was interested, or maybe he doesn't know what the hell he wants. 

Doesn't really matter the underlying reason, because his message was clear: He doesn't want to make the time to hang out with me. 

After all, if something or someone is truly important to us, we MAKE time for it/him/her. 

Maybe third time will be the charm (ha! see - another time idiom!) ... 


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