Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Justa, justa, justa, justa, justa...justa little bit

That Aretha Frankin really knows how to put the female power in a ballad.

I know all my posts are about being single and figuring out my shiz, but this is basically what my life consists of now.

I mentioned previously that I dated an older guy for about a month before he went bat-shit crazy. Well, what I left out was that the first time we went out for drinks the bar was doing a raffle and I won a free trip to Vegas. Woohoo!

However....I ended up leaving the folder detailing my winnings in his car. Homeboy still has said folder. FML.

I still talk to this guy occasionally on Facebook, and made plans to have dinner and drinks with him two weeks ago. I completely forgot that I had plans to attend the High Heel Race (one of my favorite D.C. events) with Just Jack that were set in stone a good two months ahead of time.

So, I cancelled dinner plans, but asked if we could reschedule via text. No response.

A few days later, I sent a Facebook message apologizing and asking again if we could reschedule or if not, that we needed to swap some items still in the other person's posession. (I still have one of his hats.) Still no response.

Today, I saw him on Facebook and sent him a message. We started talking. He said we should still meet for dinner/drinks and exchange each other's posessions.

Good, great, grand, wonderful! Call me selfish, but I just want to go on that free trip to Vegas.

Well...then, this guy started in on the sexual innuendo. Here are some shining examples:

"You know, I haven't had sex since the last time I was with you. I'm all cranky. Can you help?"


"Maybe we can just be dinner, drinks and sex buddies once in a while."

Ew, ew and ew. I know I previously had sex with this guy, but that was two months ago and doesn't mean I want to now. It made me feel demeaned, disgusted and worthless.

I tried to be diplomatic about this all (just until that folder was back in my possession), so I said - dinner and drink buddies sound good to me.

Normally diplomacy is a good thing...unless you're dealing with a certifiably crazy person.

First, he got all huffy and short because I wasn't saying what he wanted to hear. Then, when I tried to tell him what he was saying made me uncomfortable, he blamed me and said that I started it all by referring to him as a DILF when we were still hanging out TWO MONTHS AGO. Finally, after trying to understand why he was "confused" and explaning my stance on the situation, he responded with: "Fair enough - this is really going nowhere. Starting to bore me." And signed off.

So after making inappropriate comments and making me feel like a whore, you're going to lose your temper, try to manipulate me into thinking this is somehow my fault and then do the Facebook equivalent of a hang-up?

Real classy/mature/stand-up of you. It's a wonder you're still single at your age.

But here's my question - should I have expected him to talk to me the way he did? Just because I had sex with him when we were hanging out, does that give him the right to make repeated sexual references now and treat me with a complete lack of respect?

I want to say no, but I still can't help feeling that I somehow brought this on myself, and made it okay for him to demoralize me...

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