A not-so triumphant return to the world of online dating

I took a pretty lofty hiatus from online dating during the spring and summer months. Much like every exercise routine I try to follow, I just didn't feel like keeping up with it anymore.

Then I saw $60 deducted from my bank account in August for my match.com subscription and figured I should probably attempt to utilize a service I'm paying for. And oddly enough, the online dating sites seem a bit more active during the fall/winter months. I think the most likely reason is at first hint of cool air and the start of football season, us single folk realize that the holidays are right around the corner, and the thought of spending another holiday season alone thrusts us into desperate means to find a mate. So, I updated my profile, added some additional pictures and have resumed life on match.com and okcupid.com.

I had my first date since the account update last week. Unfortunately, I can't say that much has changed.

I met King Charles at an Irish Pub close to both of our apartments. I was about 5 minutes late getting there, and when I got there, he was already seated at the bar with a beer in hand. When the bartender came over to take my order. I selected a Sam Adams Oktoberfest (one of my favorite aspects of fall) and started fidgeting for my wallet. King Charles made zero attempt to put my beer on the tap he clearly already had open, so I quickly realized I needed to actually take out my credit card.

Strike one.

Sadly, it got worse. Or better if you count the story I got out of it. King Charles owns - you guess it, a King Charles Spaniel. Not only that, but when explaining the breed he added, "You know, the same kind as Charlotte had in Sex and the City."


To be fair, he probably gets tons of comments while walking his dog or talking about his dog. It's not exactly the type of dog I'd imagine straight, single males owning. So I'm sure the first jab people throw at him is that he has the same type of dog as Charlotte York. But for the love of God, on a date - a first date at that, I'm not so sure your knowlege of Sex and the City is something you want to flaunt.

I just like smiling...smiling's my favorite

I have ventured into the world of online dating.

It's not so bad. No horror stories...yet.

But I have found that a majority of these guys are a tad on the dorky side.

Now, I'm not snobby enough to think I don't have my own dorkish tendencies - I correct spelling and grammatical errors on practically everything I read and I get excited when I see things in Latin (I took it for 5 years in middle/high school and then for 2 semesters in college).

However, these dudes tend to be mildly socially awkward and just a bit too dull for my liking. I need a little wit, sarcasm and friendly banter mixed in.

On Saturday, I went on a second date with a guy who fit this description. He was sweet and I mildly enjoyed our first date, so I thought, What the hell? Maybe he was just nervous on the first date and would come out of his shell for date #2.

...I thought wrong.

As we're standing at the host stand, waiting to be pointed in the direction of a sparkling wine tasting event he turns to me and says, "So...what's your favorite color?"

My initial thought was - I haven't been asked this question since second grade when it was cool to bond over cerulean and red-violet crayons. Then, the mental image of Will Ferrell answering the phone with, "Buddy the Elf, what's your favorite color?" popped into my head and I literally had to bite my tongue and turn my head to keep from laughing in this poor guy's face. Thank God the host came up right then so I didn't actually have to answer that question.

As sweet as this guy was, I just don't think I can stomach any more questions that should only asked by seven-year-olds and elves.